Champions of Nothing
by BlackBlackHeaven
Summary: Destiny is about repetition. It repeats and repeats until its right. Rei/Minako Two-Shot - Complete.
1. Acts I - V

_A/N: So its been awhile... I don't know where this came from but I figured I'd post it. So here it is. It will be a Two-Shot. Enjoy it for what it is. Was originally meant to be FULL ON Rei/Minako but it took on a life of its own so...yeah. The second half will have more Rei/Minako promise! Inspired by the Matthew Good song. Hahaha. Anyways no beta so mistake are all mine._**  
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_Disclaimer: I own nothing. :)  
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_'There's something in the way you look that only casts a shadow...'_  
_"Champions of Nothing" by Matthew Good_**_._  
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**I.**

She wishes she could forsake the night.

Sometimes it's the nightmares. The ones about blackness; barren and encompassing the icy emptiness of darkness. The horrific nightmares about her death. About all of _them, _each one similar and different the perfect contradiction. It's like how each time she wakes up from one it feels as if she left a piece of herself there with them. Surrounded in that hazy heartless pit. She's just left there too suffocate left too lose another piece.

Sometimes it's the past, the one that seemly won't leave her alone no matter how hard she tries. Constantly spitting images of what it _really_ meant to be a _leader_. The ones about faith and how important it was to believe in the cause _no matter _the risk. How you were meant to forsake everything you valued for the greater good. She wishes she could forsake the night instead. Wishes she didn't require sleep didn't need it to sustain the mask she wore so well in daylight.

Sometimes it's the dreams. The _'normal' _ones the ones given a title - _never shall. _Dreams about the present about what she wishes were realities. Ones about _life_ the kind of life that everyone else gets to live except her. _Normal_. She hates those ones the most, they terrify and excite her and she knows - _bitterly -_ that she'll never get to enjoy any of them.

She hates the nights so she tries so hard to forsake them. Whether its by fighting to save the world (since it can't help but not be in trouble!) Or by just trying as hard as she can to _not_ fall asleep for as long as possible.

Tonight Minako settles for late night infomercials in the blue hue of the television.

**II.**

She understands she's apart of the group.

But even Minako gets tired of _trying_. Sometimes she doesn't feel bubbly or _happy_. Their Princess Usagi never seems to be in short supply of either though. Minako wants to be jealous of her, their princess. She gets the happy ending _every time _and one day she'll get the real one. The one that they sacrificed so much for.

Minako can't though. She can't be jealous. No matter how much it hurts no matter how _unfair_ it really is. The past reminds her of this and the future, the future _has _to be better than this. No matter what the outcome really turns out to be.

Minako has to hope for something. Anything really just to make it all worthwhile. All those cold empty graves, those hollow places she could have slept so peacefully in…

"Minako did you even hear the joke?"

She smiles, but it hurts too.

"Sorry! Was thinking about something dirty."

It's hollow like every grave she walked out of.

"Minako!"

**III.**

No matter the armour in the end everything eventually falls apart somehow.

Of course the only person who really notices is Rei. All that fiery passion deliberate and powerful as it is, having it all focused on her - _almost_ - makes Minako flattered. But then Rei launches into a fit about how she _doesn't_ _need_ to hide her feelings from the others or from her.

Minako does though for their sake.

She wonders if this is why _she _is the leader of the Inner Guard instead of someone much more capable, like Rei. Being able to bury your feelings when the chips fall is what keeps you battling no matter the consequence. After all that's what makes Haruka and Michiru so _skilled_.

Or maybe Minako just isn't strong like they are, maybe destiny felt _pity_ for her.

She closes her eyes and breathes.

"Something's wrong." Rei says to her, softly, delicately, almost like she's afraid Minako will turn into Venus right then and there. Just to remind her of what's important what _really_ matters. Minako thinks it over then opens her eyes and smiles.

A winning smile that - _almost -_ convinces Rei that Minako isn't really falling apart, that it just _seems_ like she is. But really Minako is _all powerful _and _god like _and cannot hurt from the petty woes of misfortune.

However, Minako is human and Rei can see the humanity creeping out from behind the mask.

"Your not going to tell me are you?" Minako doesn't even have the heart to argue she drops the smile too.

_It's everything… _she wants to say it, can even hear her voice saying the words. But they never come. Sailor Venus isn't allowed to express her doubts let alone to a subordinate. _Technically Rei is a subordinate. Technically. _Minako has to remind herself sometimes that the _past _isn't the _now_ but its hard when its in her dreams and when it haunts her during the day. When it forces her to confront it over and over again, every day, every night, every single moment.

_Why couldn't she be normal? _

"I'm sorry."

The words are audible and Rei frowns like Minako just told her the end of the world was coming.

Maybe it is, Minako can't tell.

**IV.**

It happens more often then she'd like.

It almost becomes a routine to Minako after the fifth time. Rei is stubborn though, persistent and far to observant for her own good. Or maybe Minako is just getting tired of putting that mask on day in and day out and she's losing her edge.

She isn't sure but she knows that the strings of destiny are tugging.

She hates it. Hates it so much that sometimes Minako thinks of going as far away as possible just to hide from it. She can't, but she wishes she could.

Rei is there staring at her expectantly. Almost like she knows Minako is _this _close away from spilling every dirty secret to her. She's not, but Rei is once again, _stubborn_.

So Minako sips on her milkshake ignoring her the best she can.

But everything eats away at her the same way she sips away at the milkshake. Something in those memories of the past stirs something inside her. It's like _déjà vu _though Minako is sure she's never had _this _particular scenario happen to her before.

Venus calls to her like a moth to flame, begging for _something._ Minako can't quite understand. The ghost that lives inside of her that she refuses to release, is there touching her heart whispering something…

Minako blinks Venus away and looks back at Mars…_Rei_. Rei.

Right.

Amethyst eyes ask Minako _why?_

Blue eyes respond with nothing but _maybe next time._

_Maybe next time._

…_Maybe._

**V.**

Playing with fire only gets you burned.

Minako can't help it though it's better than feeling nothing but _hopelessness. _Venus the leader living within her. The one whose faith means everything to her can only watch as Minako burns herself.

It stings too.

Minako can smell molten flesh and hear the screaming, lots of screaming. It makes her skin crawl, but then it dissipates almost as fast as it comes when Rei asks her if she's alright.

Minako responds but it's just an automatic reaction like a muscle memory. Something she's become accustomed to. A question she understands but never answers honestly. It isn't until Rei has her hand on Minako's that the blonde blinks away from her thoughts.

The touch sets her hand on fire and all she can do is look at Rei. As _Mars_ the Senshi of fire burns all her worries away for a moment.

"Are you sure? Your never this quiet unless its serious."

It will be night soon. It will come again like it always does they will find her all over again. The nightmares about death, about life as she wishes it was or maybe tonight will be something from the past the one she can't escape.

"I don't know."

It's honest. Probably the most honest thing Minako has ever said out loud. Rei squeezes her hand and Minako can't bring herself to look away. Like somehow she's trapped in that amethyst gaze and it won't allow her to hide away from this. This one little sentence she has spoken out loud. The one that has damned her soul.

Honesty comes at a price.


	2. Acts VI - X

_A/N: So it's finished! Didn't take as long as I thought, honestly I really wanted to finish it and I did. Thank goodness this one was bugging me for awhile there. Definitely more Rei/Minako-ness in this part. Still no beta so mistakes are all mine. Hope you enjoy. :)  
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_Disclaimer: I own nothing.**  
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**VI.**

Ashes are better then charred corpses.

Ashes can float away, the wind carrying them wherever it goes. Sometimes Minako wishes she was just a pile of ashes. If she were she'd never have to deal with all of this.

Usagi gives them hope like a leader should and they would follow her to death, every time. But she doesn't understand the gravity of sacrifice the way they do. Giving your life for the cause, for _her_ happy ending. Sure maybe they'll be there too but Minako isn't so sure it will be paradise for the rest of them.

Minako thinks she's more like a charred corpse. Irreversible scars, more fragile then she looks, _hollow_.

"You don't sleep much do you?"

Minako doesn't look at Rei. The question is rhetoric. Spending the night at Rei's wasn't a mistake, the mistake was being honest to begin with. Now _Mars _with all that passion, all that fire is standing outside in the wee hours of morning staring at _Venus_. Who was born a leader but just can't fit the shoes properly.

Minako loathes the past.

"Why are you up?"

She asks instead, trying desperately to forget her destiny as Venus. _Just give me a moment to be myself. _She wishes but the reality is that she _is _herself. Venus is her, past her, present her, future her.

"You're not the only one with nightmares."

Rei turns away from her, choosing instead to look up at the stars. Minako says nothing unable to form words. The truth is enlightening but it doesn't give Minako the epiphany she needs. It just fills her with more doubt, more questions.

She reaches for Rei's hand and squeezes. Wishing the fire would turn her into ash.

Destiny won't allow it.

**VII.**

Being a super hero used to be fun.

It was lonely sure but Minako remembers that it was also fun too. It felt wonderful to have the power to defend oneself and to defend others. It was scary sometimes but she had Artemis and that worked well for her. For a long time it was _fine_. But that was before she died back when she was young enough to find hope in the simplest of things. Back when being the Senshi of Venus meant more than _self sacrifice _and _destiny_.

Minako sees the burden now feels the weight of it and sometimes she thinks she doesn't have the strength to carry it anymore.

But then Rei is there. Filled with the same questions Minako has, when, where, _why? _Questions that really have no answer, even if Minako gives Setsuna those looks that say _tell me_. The Time Senshi never responds and Minako questions if she even really knows more then they do.

_You're just supposed to have faith. _

But for Minako faith isn't enough anymore. The sacrifices, the guilt, the regrets, they are becoming encompassing.

Mars is there. _Rei_ is there.

"_You're not the only one with nightmares."_

Minako - _Venus_ can only hope for the future. She's beginning to see that Rei - _Mars_ can only hope for the same. Faith won't bother saving them and benediction comes at a cost.

_But together maybe…_

"Stop staring at me like that. You're throwing my concentration off."

…_It won't be so lonely._

"Sorry."

The flames of the Sacred Fire flicker and Minako can't stop herself from being enthralled by them or their priestess. _You could get burned._

Being Venus sucks.

**VIII.**

There are a lot of rules she can break.

This is one of the more sacred unspoken rules, but Venus, _Minako_ could break it if she _really_ wanted too. The past tells her she already has. If the fever dreams about her and Mars are to be believed. A lot of rules were broken back then though, so maybe it isn't as sacred as she thinks. Minako is finding that Venus from then is a lot like the Venus of now. She's a lot like she used to be.

Maybe that's the real point of destiny, repeat until you get it _right_.

Still, it stirs in her like nothing else before it. This feeling, this desire as petty as it is. Minako always seems to desire the things she can never truly have. Like a normal life. Like falling in love…_like Rei_.

She can break the rules, forget she's Venus for awhile. But destiny has a funny way of reminding someone that they cannot forgo fate. Because its _fate _and it is _meant _to happen no matter what anyone tries to do to stop it. Minako tried - _once_ - before (_in the past_) and all that had happened was what was _meant _to happen. _Death_, then waking up reawakened as Venus all over again.

There are no real beginnings or endings, just continuations.

She doesn't even know how it happened, maybe it was the dreams. Maybe it was part of her desire to break the rules, to forgo destiny as long as possible. Maybe it was just _Rei_, being there too question everything they are meant to believe in, in the same way Minako can't help but do. Maybe its just a tantalizing side effect of wishing everything was _different_.

"How many nightmares have you had?"

They sit across from each other in the quiet of night inside Rei's room staring at one another, expecting _something_ from each other that they just can't seem to word.

"A lot of them aren't nightmares. Most of them are memories."

Telling Rei is also a lot like breaking the rules. Telling her the truth _is_ breaking the rules. Not the sacred ones from a past they can only remember in dreams, but Minako's personally thought out rules. The ones that insure there is always a distance between them, _just in case_.

"How can you tell the difference?"

Rei's voice is soft, fragile, like she's ready to break, like she fears the answer. Or maybe she's afraid_ to_ tell her. Minako's smile is a sad one there is no reassurance, there is only the truth. And Minako _wants_ to be honest, wants to lose the mask for a little while. But _only_ in front of Rei. The only person she can.

"You can tell by how it feels in _here_."

Minako places her hand over Rei's chest, _over her heart_. She can hear Rei's sudden intake of breath, as if Minako has just burned her by touch. _Impossible_. She's the Senshi of fire. Her heart is pounding loudly though and Minako can feel every single _thump_.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

She's already broken the rules hasn't she?

**IX.**

"Have you spoken with this to anyone else? Artemis? Setsuna? _Anyone?_"

Minako shakes her head, Rei paces back and forth. They've been discussing the past for weeks now and in that time Minako has been decidedly honest with Rei. Only to the absolute_ best_ of her abilities, after all she is _still_ Venus and being Venus means that somethings must _always_ remain secret.

Rei stops suddenly, then with those questioning amethyst eyes she asks the question Minako can already see hidden within those mesmerizing eyes.

"Why?"

Venus is at the heart of Minako's very being, she was _meant_ to be a leader. To surrender herself to the cause and too lead the troops there as well. But Minako isn't so sure she was meant for those things, Venus is her. But there are parts that are missing too, parts that are necessary in order to be what she was _meant_ to be.

Sometimes she only gets pieces.

"Because we aren't _meant_ to question."

It's a Venus response, but Minako finds there is truth to it. Who is she to question fate? Who is she to question anything? She is _not_ the Moon Princess, she's just the leader of her Inner Guard. She isn't the one _meant_ to make all the decisions or choose which path they are all to take. It's not _in_ her, not like it is within Usagi.

Minako wasn't _the one_.

"But the dreams…the…visions…"

"The past."

Minako finishes for her. Something bitter and vile rises up her throat Minako can feel the strings of destiny tugging. The truth tastes a lot like blood, grotesque, metallic and everlasting. You can never be free of it for long, it's _always_ there. In the palms of her hands, soaking all the way through the white fabric of her uniform.

She can _never_ seem to wash it off her hands.

"How long have you known?"

Minako wants to say _forever_. She chooses "awhile." Rei stares at her like she's_ never_ seen her before. Like something has replaced Minako with a complete stranger. Maybe she_ is_ a stranger. Maybe Minako is a stranger hiding inside of Venus' body, entrapping her just out of _spite_.

Destiny isn't that kind.

"How _could_ you? How could you keep this from me?"

Minako has never felt more alone then in this moment. She frowns, unsure of how to _explain_. Is there an explanation for all of this? For their destiny? For what they are meant to believe in? For each other? For the past?

She isn't Setsuna, she doesn't have that knowledge. She doesn't understand it herself, she doesn't understand their destiny the way a real Senshi like Pluto or Saturn can. Venus _isn't_ built that way, Venus is _just_ a soldier. How could she possibly explain anything to Rei? To make her understand, to see that Minako only really needs_ her. _

Venus doesn't need _forever_, she just needs _now_._  
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"I had a right to know! The difference was in my heart wasn't it? Isn't that what you told me? I felt it…I felt it _there_."

Amethyst eyes are alight with fire. The encompassing fire of _disbelief_ and_betrayal_. Minako doesn't have words for how she feels being under that gaze, seeing that pain. _Turn me into ash._

"Mars and Venus were…"

"I don't care!"

Rei is a volcano erupting, spewing molten lava as far and wide as she possibly can. Minako can't blame her, it was hard for even her to understand that the past was very much real and alive. Their whole purpose being to right it, to make it to paradise.

_To vindicate their sins._

But it's hard to see that when all you can see are visions of the past. How different things were back then, how they all broke the rules in some way. How the world had ended just when the story was beginning. Minako understands its hard, understands how heavy a burden it is to shoulder the mistakes of the past while dealing with the present. How hard it is to _forget_ even if the past makes you everything you _are_. Even if it makes them Senshi.

But they _need_ each other, they _always_ have. Mars and Venus are…

"Just go."

_Please._

Minako's mask hits the ground and all the Senshi of Venus can do is _beg_. Plead to the Senshi of Mars in the only way she knows how, without the words, without the promises or the lies. Just with those blue eyes that scream _don't leave me_.

_Please Rei, please._

Mars turns away and Venus is left to shoulder the weight, _alone_. Minako feels like this was _meant_ to happen.

It doesn't matter if she hates it._  
_

**X.**

Fate has spoken.

They fight as they always have, side by side. They destroy the monsters, they save the day. Then its back to waiting for Crystal Tokyo. _Waiting and waiting and waiting._ Will it ever happen? No one knows for sure, but the Senshi are _meant_ to believe it will. The Moon Princess believes in it too because she wants that happy ending. Minako just wants it to end already. Though she knows there are no real endings or beginnings to this story just a whole lot of _continuations_ and _maybes_. Minako feels _ill _just thinking about it. It's like she's stuck here and she is. Sailor Venus is _supposed_ to see the fantastic Crystal Tokyo along with the other Senshi who gave up _everything_ for it. But the others don't feel like Minako does or at least she doesn't believe they do. Most of them have a begrudging acceptance of what their duty is, what their purpose is. Minako even imagines that some of them are happy with what is meant to be. She wishes she could be that way too.

But Minako wants _more_. Is that so wrong?

Rei can't even _look _at her.

And Minako isn't even sure what hurts more. Being alone in this or being away from Rei. The distance is unsettling. The nightmares about death return as they naturally would. They never truly go away, there is too much importance in them that Minako can't shake them from her being. A lesson, on top of many reminders that Minako needs in order to stay on the path. _The right one._ The one that leads to paradise. The one she was _meant_ to be on. Still though Minako hasn't slept well in weeks. Her mind is a blurry haze of the past and of the darkness granted by death. _So much peace there, so much quiet._

Minako wishes Rei would just _look _at her.

Just give her some fraction of hope that will help her make it through the nights. Something that will tell her they will make it through this together, just them, only them. The two of them Mars and Venus. _Together._ Minako needs something to hold onto, something to grasp and cling to for support.

Rei doesn't speak, just stays kneeling in front of the sacred fire ignoring Minako as best she can. She's searching for something that Minako can't help her with. Venus wants too but Minako _can't_. She doesn't know _how_.

_Just talk to me._

She wills with all she has in her. The Senshi of Mars ignores her. Minako wants to shout, to scream, to cry, to do anything but stand here watching helplessly as Rei tries to make the gap between them even larger. Minako just wants her to understand.

Why won't Rei just _look_ at her?

"Rei?"

A fragile word to break the silence, but Rei doesn't respond. Minako feels her resolve failing.

_Please._

"Talk to me."

Amethyst eyes open but Minako can't see anything but the flickering flames of the sacred fire and the back of Rei's head. She isn't even sure that Rei has heard her but the flickering of the flames suggests _change_. Is it a change within the Senshi of fire? Or is Minako's mind playing cruel tricks on her? Giving her some semblance of hope where there is none. Maybe its both.

"There's nothing to say."

"That's not true." Minako whispers falling to her knees beside Rei. Begging her with pleading blue eyes and the mask, how it flutters when it floats away disappearing somewhere Minako can't reach out for it. There are so many things to say. So many apologies and words that have more meaning than anything they've ever believed in. There are things that matter to them both, things that _really _matter. Minako knows this more than anyone. They are all they have in this world filled of_ fates _and_ destiny_. Where those words hold all the power. When fate is in control of everything and they cannot stop it no matter the questions they ask or the rules they break.

The thing that really matters is_ each other._

Minako just wants her to understand that if not now, then someday.

Amethyst eyes turn to her and Minako is captivated by them. She can see things she's never really _seen_ before, she can see _Mars_ within Rei. Can feel the heat of the fire and see it within those captivating eyes. It flickers and sways and Minako is consumed by them.

_She wants to be.  
_

Maybe she always wanted to be._  
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"Please?"

Destiny is about repetition. It repeats and repeats until its _right_.

When Rei entwines their fingers together Minako _knows _that fate has spoken. Even if they get it wrong again, even if they mess it all up all over again. Minako _knows_ somewhere deep inside of her that they will always come to find each other. They are _meant_ too.

The nightmares of death and the reminders of the past will always bother Minako. But Rei will always bring her back. Giving her those necessary pieces she needs to continue. It's never easy but the wait might not seem so long to Minako if Rei is near.

It's not perfect, it's not even close to paradise. But maybe that will be enough for Minako, maybe that's all she needs.

Is Rei.

_For now...together._

"Okay."_  
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